the conspiracy!! that's what they want you to think!!

alot of things are happening in this world. for example, the hurricanes, the wars, poverty, global warming, the lack of chocolate filling in my chocolate filled cookie, etc. but you can rest assure that each and everyone of these horrors are all linked to each other through one true evil, cockroaches.

YES! you've heard it, cockroaches!! you might not believe me and are mostly likely thinking 'pssh, this one is crazy and should be thrown in the loony bin. everybody knows that it's human activity that caused all this mayhem. cockroaches, yeah rite. what can those tiny little things do? eat my eyelashes while i'm sleeping?'

well, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK!!! they have two brains dammit!! they're highly intelligent and smart! and evil!!

they've doing it since the beginning of time. that the dinosaurs' extinction. do you honestly believe that a comet could do that much damage? if you're thinking 'yes' then YOU'RE RIGHT!! but do you know how the a comet that size could just out of the blue suddenly decided 'hmm maybe i should crash into earth and fuck up the entire ecosystem by exterminating all dinosaurs...'? IT'S THE COCKROACHES!!! they somehow found this huge magnet underground which upseted the entire world's magnetic polarity and pulled a nearby giant comet right into the earth's atmosphere and once that started, all the little buggers had to do was sit back and watch. 'why did they do it' you asked. because at that time period, dinosaurs were at the top of the food change and right under them are the insects which are of course ruled by cockroaches so they had to eliminate the competition! of course their plan had a slight miscalculation, they didn't count on us mammals taking over after the dinos left! since then, they've been trying all sorts of ways to destroy us. like noah's flood, that was the cockroaches. mount vesuvius, cockroaches. chernobil, definitely cockroaches! why else did you think the reactor suddenly exploded? them cockroaches found a way in and had been messing with the equipments!! global warming! those evil creatures have been secretly chipping away at the ice at two poles for centuries now. how you ask. they've been sending cockroaches after cockroaches to eat away all the ice!! that's how.

and now that they've discovered that they're the only creatures on earth that can survive nuclear radiation, they're going all out to make sure we'll be totally annihilated this time. i've found out via my sources that they've been planning to take over the presidents brain and launch nuclear missiles all over the world!!! then they'll be the only ones left and once they've taken over the world, they're gonna take over the entire universe!!! but not more than that cause evil little blackhearted scheeming hideous creatures need rest too.

and YES!!! THEY WILL EAT YOUR EYELASHES WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING!!! that's cause they eat anything that's organic. SO FOR THE LOVE OF EXISTENCE AND YOUR EYELASHES, WE MUST DECLARE AN ALL OUT WAR AGAINST THESE CREEPY CRAWLIES!!! ACT NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!