Weird ideas

Not mend to offend or disrespect anyone.
This just popped into my mind out of nowhere that even I, myself don't know how it got here in the first place.

Fate is God's essay homework.
Karma is God's grading system.
Irony is God's way of saying "In your face. HAH!"
-Lex

Frustration

Need a place to let off steam, just reminded of this place.
Old and full of dust, a place where no one visits.
Precisely the type of place I want since it's not really something that I want to burden on someone's shoulders.
Here goes.

Give me a freaking break!
Oh gah!
I'm not the one calling all the shots in this!
I'm just tagging along!
That amount of money might not matter to you much but people have plans as well.
It's bloody hard to actually make someone pay more just because I have a freaking leash on my neck.
You're like 2.5 times older than me yet it can't register in your heads that the world does not revolve around you?!?!
Bloody freaking hell.

Now I trully understand what it means when they say people don't think in other's shoes.
At least the other person is understanding enough and got things settled.
Trully thank you. Don't worry,every word of the deal stands.

I guess it's my fault for getting myself into this in the first place.
But this is something I have to do.
Won't even know if I'll ever have a chance to do again within 4 years or more.
Well at least moral studies does work, sort of.
Strategy of dissolution in resolving conflict. Create an alternative to avoid the conflict.

So, what happens when an unstappable force meets and immoveable object?
Go inbetween and get crushed instead, your head will explode anyway thinking about this.
But that's dissolving the conflict, without a head, there is no means in which to consider the conflict.

Yes, I'm pretty much alive after that 'amusing' outburst almost a month ago.
My freaking out gauge has lowered, but not gone.
The depression gauge has, well, depressed to a non-existant level, I hope.
Currently dealing with uni, which so far has been alright, other than the crazy system where I have to drive all the way to the main building in the opposite wing everytime I need to get something small done, and the lack of parking spots when I'm there.
Despite that, I think I'll live, but there's still time before I revert back to my usual attitude towards going to school (nuking threats included)

So, I'm alive.
Dracoli's alive and single.
Emoperor is alive, in a place which according to some, is pretty monotone when it comes to skin colour.
Nothing to panic about...for now.

Lex.
Alive and out.

I'm going nuts.
Alright, so I never said I was normal.
But now, I'm seriously going nuts.
Being disconnected from real world things for almost a year can do that to a person.
No, being disconnected isn't the problem, it's the re-connecting part that kills you.
And falling sick during the process of re-connection is even worse.

My life have been revolving through the the internet for about 10 months, watching and reading about Japanese idols to pass time. In case anyone's interested, the ideas for those rookies pieces I drew manifested from that interest of mine. So things have been very carefree and I don't have to give a crap about anything since it has nothing to do with anyone outside of my head and computer screen. Nice, blissful time that was.
Then there came horrifying time. I had to get into uni and all that official crap. Things start pouring into my head and there are so many THINGS to pay attention to, take note of, register, and more THINGS to get and deal with. That guidebook and guidelines were definitely not helping since it's practically screaming at me that if you don't do THIS or if you're late for THAT, you going to DIE, metaphorically speaking.

What. The. Hell.

I used to just sail through everything in secondary school even if it's official. I freaking suspended 9 prefects and technically put them through 1 week of humiliation in a blink of an eye without feeling slight remorse or even fear that they would gather a whole posse to beat me up or destroy my brother's car outside of school.
Now? I'm going bloody crazy over something not life threatening like a missing set of lab manual and I keep second guessing myself on the time and place for the next class in uni. I even check 31265465times the time and place for my classes and for things I couldn't check, I'd freak out internally....again.
I wonder if using the excuse of being sick and on meds will make myself sound and FEEL better. Interesting point to note, I think I half-intentionally took about 41ml or more of cough syrup (since I have cough not because I want to get high like some junkies) within 24 hours when the bottle specifically wrote not take more than 40ml within 24 hours. So, I'm guessing that I accidentally overdosed myself with meds that I'm blowing things out of proportion and making myself depressed.

Amusing. Very amusing.

So what exactly I'm doing now? I stopped taking those depression inducing meds but still taking another one to help my aching back, which is caused by coughing too much in the wrong posture. At least I'm not being depressed but that doesn't mean I've stopped freaking out. However, I have to thank Dracoli for being such a nice, caring, etc. (you know the drill, no need to turn something 'emo' into mushy unless you want it) friend.

I hate being depressed and I hate freaking out like this.
GAH!!
I. Need. To. Get. A. Grip.

I should go sleep now. I have to face those freaking out sessions tomorrow.
And I need stop myself from putting those stupid freaking out images into my head when I sleep.
Kamisama Tasukete! Daigaku e ikanai. Uchi ni tamaritai.
Uh.........nevermind.

P.s. I'm wondering if I should publish this seemingly out-of-the-ordinary craziness post.
P.s.p.s. Oh, what the heck. It's not like it's scandalous, even if I haven't whined about not wanting to go to school for a long time.
P.s.p.s.p.s By the way, Emoperor will be on a plane bound for The Land of The English in less than 24 hours.

reminiscing

was in the gym today with some friends (no i wasn't working out) and we hit a topic which made me remember somethings or rather someone.

i want to thank my first love, ong chik ho. better known as baker boyfriend. even though he won't understand this or even own a computer for that matter, i still want to express my gratitude.

you were my first and taught me so many things. i admit there was a period of time where i just hated you for hurting me so but i could never stay mad at you. i just learned to accept that even though fate brought someone into your life doesn't mean that fate will let him/her stay.

you knew how to treat a girl right and loved me very much. i was so happy with you. i could be myself with you cause you accepted me as a whole as i did you. even though you were six years my senior, i could still act childish with you. thank you for introducing me to that type of love. thank you for the memories and good times. thank you so much...

something's wrong

these few weeks have been quite hard on me. there are just so many things to think and worry about. i try to be happy, tried looking at the bright side of things. i really do.

today i thought lost a good friend over a stupid matter. i didn't mean to hurt you and i wasn't aware that it did. the worst part was finding out from someone else instead of you telling me directly.

i think all the drama is affecting my health. i've been suddenly left breathless for no reason. no hard activities or such. i'd be sitting down and suddenly the air would be taken from me and no matter how hard i inhale, i can't get any oxygen.

i'm scared....what if the tumor came back? the last one was not cancerous -thank the Lord- but the doctor says that there's a high chance of me getting it back....

mom is taking me to the clinic later. hopefully i'm just being paranoid...

Alright people, you are here by given permission to panic.
.......
I'm back to studying in approximately 83 hours.
.......
Kaeru is now Dracoli Sly.
.......
Emoperor will be leaving the potato country in approximately 240 hours.
.......
.......
.......
AaAAaAAAAAaaaaaAaaaAaHhHhhHHhhHHhhhhhhHHhhh!!!!!!!!

------------------------------------------------

That was pretty nostalgic.
With that out of the way, I stole a personality test from Mel's blog.
You can take the test here: http://www.ipersonic.com/

My results were rather 'amusing' with a hint of 'deja vu'. Sort of.
Read about it here: http://www.ipersonic.com/type/RR.html
Reliable Realist, eh?
I think Retarded Rooster sounds more amusing, don't you think? (I'm not calling myself a chicken, mind you)

Now I hope(read:demand) the other Damngraphic-ers to try this.

Lex.
Back from the dead and straight into hell.

Turtle Soup 11: Clean up on aisle 11

Have I ever mentioned that my drawing of a panda looks pretty weird?

Turtle Soup 10: Threat subdued. Fall back

I'm still in my bored streak.

Random post of the month.

Lets see. I haven't been doing much drawing recently since I'm lazy.(As if anyone expects it)
Everyone else seems to be busy with their lives as well.
Seeing this place is getting filled with cogwebs, I'm thinking I should post something, for no particular reason, actually.
Hence the random post of the month.(Might not be random post of the month, but who knows)

People have blogs to talk about their own life, happenings, etc. etc.
This particular blog was actually a crazy idea cooked up by 3 crazies out of impulse.
Looking back at it, the reasons were those 3 crazies need to find a proper arena for an animal/insects battle, with pictures and fancy words.
Well, that battle ended with the high and mighty Emoperor tossing out humans as his trump card.
That was 2 years ago when the 3 of us was still in secondary school, or just finished, I don't quite remember.
Now that I think about it, (Emoperor and Kaeru might kill me for this) I think I was the one who actually psycho-ed the two of them into this idea.
Think about it. Both of them already have their personal blogs, except me. (I still remember hanging around Emoperor's blog leaving long 'battle reports' of the South Pacific Massacre [SPM])
Obvious isn't it. More obvious that I post things here the most.

After that make believe battle, more random things started coming up, in the form or complains about the school, it's people, and the urge to nuke it.
Damngraphic right? Complains and insults regarding your school is pretty graphic I have you know.
You could get reprimanded if found out. Part of the reason why anything I have on the internet does not directly link to my real and personal life, other than the people. They know who I am, if anyone ratted me out, I'd be dead years ago.
Those old post are really amusing. I didn't know I could come up with these interesting words to describe teachers. (The hell, flatulator? Derived from flatulents, in case you don't know)

Then even those stop. (Blame school examinations)
There were random things, but most of them have a topics.
Like my previous 'masterpieces'.(You get the idea)
Looking at them, I just post things with 'relevent' topics, nothing regarding my personal life or how I really think. Other than those anger induced rants about school and teachers.
I was never one to bare my soul to anyone, seriously.
You'd have to work for that.
And I mean it.
If anyone's thinking this particular person is going to start an all-out confession of some sort, fat chance.
Somethings are staying where I think it's comfortable. My own head.

This is as far as I'm going when it comes to being personal while not being in a stormy mood.
Why the suddenly nostalgic/personal(I'm overusing this word) post?
Blame the song Here Comes Goodbye by Rsscal Flatts(the meaning behind the song has got nothing to do with anything, I just like the melody and words) and Kaeru's comment that I'm deep. (I might dig deeper in the future, yet I might not)

Till next time.
Drawings or another rant? That's yet to be determined.

Lex.
Signing off.

Damngraphic survived 2 years.

Almost late.

Project 13 Chapter 1 part 2

Friedrich running away from his 'savior'.

Turtle Soup 9: The monkey strikes.

Lesson 1: Do not touch the bean unnecessarily, or risk the wrath of the Leader Monkey.

Turtle Soup 8: Thrist for beans.

Be on your guard everyone.
We have a live one here.

Turtle Soup 7: Worship.

Please don't feed any bananas to the panda.
You won't have enough.

Turtle Soup 6: Interference.

Amidst the scuffle, we were interrupted by unexpected visitors.
Due to the unexpected and dangerous nature of the situation, our reporters will continue to monitor the situation at a perimeter to ensure their safety.

Turtle Soup 5: Catfight.

We here by began taking bets towards the outcome of this face off.
Please proceed to the counter set up by Kaeru for your predictions.

Turtle Soup 4: Cat Attack!

We've received a statement from Emoperor stating that, the hostility towards the rabbit is purely unintentional. The one he's aiming for is actually the turtle only and the reason as why such aggression was directed towards it is still unanswered.

Turtle Soup 3 : Cat Rescue

Need I say more?

Turtle soup 2 : Catch!

This is a continuation on Emoperor's attack on the turtle.