death of nameless.

since there's nothing interesting about me really. i'm going to tell you instead about one of the most horrifying deed i've ever done so far.

i was very young then, about standard one or two... or was it kindergarten.... i haven't moved to K.L yet so i was still in Kuching. that time i was alone at home with the exception of my partially blind grandfather. so basically i ruled the house, for the moment. i was watching the fishes in the aquarium. my dad use to have lots of fishes. i was particularly attracted to this one gold fish. but that gold fish kept avoiding me (well, that's how it seems to me at that time) so feeling rejected, all my middle-child emotions began surfacing. like how i don't get enough attention, blah blah blah(so totally over that). so i was thinking, "my parents are ignoring me so you aren't, stupid fish!" so i grabbed a chair, hoisted myself up (ppl short ma back then, still kinda short now), i grabbed a net and started fishing around for that damn fish. very chun man, cause i only got the fish i wanted, all the other fishies still ok and swimming round. i must like a naturally gifted fisher!

so i caught this fish and i took it t the kitchen and....(here's the gory part. those weak at heart turn away now)the fish kept jumping round so i whacked it against the kitchen counter for a few times until it stopped jumping but was still alive. then i took out those peeler knife thingies that you use to peel the skin of fruits and such and began cutting away at the fish's fins. i can't recall if i had cut off its head or not but i do remember flushing it down the drain afterwards.

when my parents came home, i was long done with the fish but when my father noticed that his aquarium was in disarray, i thought i was done for.

"what happened to my aquarium?"

my heart was beating like crazy and i didn't know what to do. so i did the only thing i knew, i pretended to not know and continue playing with my dolls (innocent little demon) and the miraculous thing was, my father never noticed that he's missing a fish. i've kept this secret from everyone until i was in form 1 where i told my family what happened and they laughed while calling me 'siao! yau men tai ke lei' (roughly translated to, 'crazy! something wrong with you') i was laughing along with them. and now i'm telling you, o fair readers of this weird-ass site. welcome to the twisted mind of Kaeru...partially(too much for you to handle). hopefully it didn't freak you out that much and are in fact laughing just like my family that day. but then again...my family always knew i'm a little...lose in the head....

so there, that's boring ol' Kaeru for you ;)

YUCATAN!